“I knew I had only two days to do my wedding shopping in Chennai”, Fashila Kanakka On Her DIY Wedding

With a bit of luck and a whole lot of planning and creativity, Sassy Editor Fashila makes her dream wedding a reality.

We’ve got another bride from the team to feature – the second in a row! Sassy Editor Fashila proves that it pays to have a vision. From knowing what stone she wanted for her engagement ring to having plenty of wedding inspo from Instagram to get her started, she managed to bring her dream wedding to life despite moving flats around the same time (and only having two days to do her wedding shopping in Chennai!). Ahead, Fashila shares her favourite DIY projects, the challenges of managing family expectations, and her three-week honeymoon in Europe.

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Let’s start with how you and your husband met.

We met on an online dating app in 2019. I was very skeptical of the whole process, especially how one has to market themself to get a match. It felt contradictory looking for something organic where everything felt fake. I was just on the verge of losing hope and told myself if this date doesn’t go well, I’ll delete the app. Clearly, it went well – very well in fact!

Read More: Hong Kong Dating Stories – Online Dating

How did he pop the question?

At that point, we had been together for over 3 years and from the start we had established our interest in being in a serious, long-term relationship, so we had talked about marriage and our plans for the future on multiple occasions. In our community, we value our families’ approval (our parents said yes!) so once that was settled, I knew what was coming next.

Farhad popped the question at West Kowloon Promenade, where we went on our first date (I had a feeling this would be where he’d propose). He DIY-ed a beautiful picnic with candles, rose petals and a stunning bouquet (featuring orchids like I’ve always wanted!) and it happened right at golden hour with our group of close friends. While I knew this was coming, I was still in awe of his picnic arrangement and all the creativity and effort he had put in!

Read More: Your Guide To Planning The Perfect Proposal – Proposal Ideas, Photographers, Florists & More

Tell us about the ring. Did you drop any hints about what you wanted it to look like?

Ladies back me up on this, we all have a folder called “Wedding” in our Instagram saves – one we’ve been feeding since even before we met a guy! For my engagement ring, I knew I wanted my centre stone to be special and one of a kind. One day whilst scrolling, I came across a picture of a stunning teal blue sapphire. I sent it over to Farhad and we both knew that that was the one to go for.

From figuring out my ring size to checking shop after shop for the perfect gem and deciding on the setting, we did everything together and it’ll remain a memorable process for us. The end result; a halo ring with a teal blue sapphire (it changes colour depending on the lighting!). And my wedding band is an eternity ring that I usually stack with my engagement ring.

Fun fact: Farhad’s wedding band also has a teal blue sapphire, and unfortunately, it’s bigger than mine!

Read More: Where To Buy An Engagement Ring In Hong Kong

What did you do for your hen party?

I may have gone a little all out, I had a total of three parties; a spa date with some close friends, a staycation with my sister and then another staycation with a bigger group of girls.

The spa (at Tai Pan Reflexology) was a sweet start to the festivities to come, and the girls sure pumped me up for counting down to the big day! I also wanted to celebrate the special bond I have with my sister so I treated her (more like spoiled her) to a staycay at the Fullerton (which may have become my favourite hotel in Hong Kong thus far!) – this was on the same day Farhad and I got our keys to our new apartment so it truly was a pinch-me day!

The final bachelorette with the squad spanned three days and two nights, we stayed at Eaton and did all the hen shenanigans, but the highlight was going to a drag party with a room full of divas! This was in the midst of getting my new place sorted (whilst also wedding planning!) so it was a much needed escape.

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What do your traditional pre-wedding customs look like and which was most meaningful to you?

We hosted a haldi party one week before the wedding and a mehendi three days before. The haldi is when guests apply turmeric paste on the bride and groom and get them glowing for a bright future ahead. I wanted an outdoor space where we could get messy and so I thought of doing it at Repulse Bay – it’s spacious, accessible and most important of all, free! My friend brought her tarp and we decorated it ourselves with artificial marigolds. We also told everyone to come dressed in their best shades of yellow and they didn’t disappoint!

Traditionally, my family hosts all the pre-wedding festivities and the wedding itself at home (in India), but with Hong Kong’s very limited space, we could only do an intimate Mehendi at home. Applying my bridal henna took about six hours (yes, my body felt partially paralysed after!) and while waiting, the guests had their henna applied and we had music and food to celebrate. Once again, my parents outdid themselves with their DIY skills and completely transformed our living room to match the Mehendi palette (courtesy of Taobao & Amazon India!). After that, the bride and groom are fed sweets by each guest to wish them a happy marriage.

I think applying my bridal henna is when it hit me, it hit me then and there that I was going to get married in a matter of days.

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There’s usually a lot that goes into an Indian wedding. Between you and your husband, who made most of the decisions when it came to planning the wedding?

Like I mentioned before, I’ve had wedding inspiration saved on Instagram for so long. I had a clear vision of what I wanted, from the wedding invitation to the decor and the smallest details. So the answer you’re looking for is, me, I did most of the wedding planning myself, and my parents and sister also did a hefty amount of work in the whole process.

Farhad and I were also flat hunting, furniture shopping and setting up our new apartment at the very same time so it was a lot happening all at once!

Of course, I checked in with Farhad for every decision we made and showed him whatever small details I was adding, but it’s the classic meme of the groom chilling the week of his wedding and the bride running all over the place! Farhad and I were also flat hunting, furniture shopping and setting up our new apartment at the very same time so it was a lot happening all at once and thinking back, I don’t know how we managed it!

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What was your favourite part of your wedding?

My favourite part about the wedding and pre-wedding festivities were all the DIY projects my family and I did. From making bowls out of coconut shells to repurposing old trays and whatnot, the creative effort felt very me – and my family is also very crafty!

But one moment that was extra special to me was when my sister and I made the bridal bouquet ourselves (with the help of Youtube tutorials). We scoured the flower market twice, once for my civil wedding and once for the traditional wedding. Not only did we save money (we spent less than $500 on my bouquet) but had full freedom to customise.

I also loved the ways we incorporated our different cultures – me being Tamil and Farhad being Bangladeshi – into the wedding games. My favourite bit was having the classic shoe game slides translated into Tamil and Bengali so more of the guests could be involved.

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Is there anything you would do differently?

The one thing I would have done differently is to have a more intimate wedding, with close friends and family over with an outdoor ceremony (but that was also a no-no because we got married in June and Hong Kong’s humidity is mad!).

I feel like we’ve glorified the term “big fat Indian wedding” and in our community, weddings are not just about the union of two souls but also people-pleasing. I tried to tangle myself out of it, but in the end it was about finding balance between family expectations and reaching a happy compromise (the compromise being a guest list of 200!).

Read More: Hong Kong Dating Stories – Intercultural Relationships

Could you describe your wedding outfit for us?

I’ve always wanted to be a traditional Tamil bride and pay homage to the meticulous and timeless craftsmanship of kanjivaram silk sarees. I knew I had only two days to do my wedding shopping in Chennai so I Googled around and found Kanakavalli as one of my options – cliché but I had a hunch this would be the place because it had my name (Kanakka) in it!

That’s right, my bridal saree is from the first shop I went to and the first one I laid eyes on!

And so we stepped into this beautiful palace turned into a boutique and I went with the first option the salesman showed me. That’s right, my bridal saree is from the first shop I went to and the first one I laid eyes on! I wanted to don a bright colour as a summer bride and this fuchsia pink kanjivaram with golden zari (a type of hand embroidery) ticked all the boxes for me. I completed the look with a matching veil (from an Instagram shop based in Kerala), traditional gold jewellery and accessories I later shopped online.

Read More: Where To Buy Your Wedding Dress In Hong Kong

What did you do for your honeymoon?

We had a rather ambitious plan – we toured around western Europe for 3 weeks. We landed in Paris and headed straight to see the Eiffel Tower (the first time for the both of us) and then continued down to the south of France. We took a 12-hour train ride to Barcelona, watched a live football match for the first time in Madrid, toured Italy from Amalfi to Rome, Florence and Venice, and loaded up on stroopwafels in Amsterdam!

I still can’t believe we lived off a medium-size suitcase for 3 weeks, but would I do the adventures all over again with my forever travel buddy? 100%!

Read More: Destination Weddings In Asia – Best Locations And Hotels

Any advice for future brides-to-be?

• Let go of your nerves (easier said than done) and be okay with things not going 100% to plan.
• Experiment with DIY projects, it saves you money and it’s memorable!
• Have a medium for stress relief (like journaling, painting, yoga – whatever works for you) and don’t wait until you feel burnt out – constantly find ways to relax during the wedding planning process.
• Carve out time for yourself, especially just before your wedding date. Do something nice like treating yourself to a massage because you are the bride-to-be after all and you’ve done SO much!

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Venue: Holiday Inn Golden Mile Hong Kong
Wedding outfit: Kanakavalli (Chennai)
Civil wedding outfit: Faiza Saqlain
Makeup artist: Looks HK
Henna artist: hennaholic_sadia
Decor: The Sleek Planners + YB Wedding Decoration
Wedding photographer: Koda Weddings/Jeremy Wong