7 Ways To Get Started On Your Sexual Wellness Journey

Make sexual wellness a priority this year with these seven beginner tips…

It’s common to set health and wellness goals, which can include hitting the gym, eating healthy, taking up a meditation practice or getting more sleep. We set these goals because they help us feel happier, healthier and get us closer to fulfilling our potential physically and mentally. But how many of your goals relate to your sexual wellness?

Sex is an often overlooked aspect of health and wellness due to the shame and taboo that surrounds the topic. However, it’s a natural, healthy and important part of who we are. Read on to find out why prioritising your sexual wellness is important, plus how to get started…

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Why Does Sexual Wellness Matter?

Studies have shown that sex – both solo and partnered – provides a myriad of health and wellness benefits. Physical benefits include improved sleep and a stronger immunity system, among other heart, hormonal and cognitive benefits.

That famous “after-sex glow” is caused by the release of feel-good hormones that uplifts our moods and eases stress and anxiety. Sex is also said to connect us to our life force on an energetic level, and can boost our creativity, self-esteem and confidence. Between partners, good sex is a form of intimacy and is positively correlated with relationship satisfaction.

Overall, sexual wellness is a key way to boost your general health and vitality.

Make Self-Pleasure A Habit

You don’t need a partner in order to reap the benefits of sexual wellness. Masturbation is a great way to connect with yourself, and it’s an empowering feeling to know that your body is capable of experiencing pleasure, regardless of your relationship status.

Try broadening your definition of self-pleasure to include sensual rituals. You can try dancing naked in your bedroom, or putting your hand on each of your body parts and giving them love; or even massaging your body with a fragrant oil after a shower.

Remember, self-pleasure is a practice. It isn’t always about orgasms (even though they can feel great!); it’s about embracing all forms of pleasure, and doing things that get you out of your head so you can be more fully present to what feels good in your body.

Read more: The Orgasm Gap – What Is It And How Can I Close It?

Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor

The pelvic floor is a group of muscles that is found at the base of your pelvis. Everyone can benefit from doing regular exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor, also known as Kegels. Strengthening the pelvic floor muscles can help with urinary incontinence, increase sensations during sex and lead to stronger orgasms. For women in particular, a strong pelvic floor contributes to better sexual arousal and increased lubrication; while in men, the benefits include ejaculatory control and stronger erections.

To get started with Kegels, try to stop yourself mid-stream the next time you pee and locate the muscles that are contracting. Those are the muscles you’ll use in your Kegels. To do one Kegel repetition, tighten the pelvic floor muscles and lift up, holding the contraction for five seconds; follow with an exhale and full release of the muscles for five seconds.

For beginners, a set of 30 Kegels a day would take a couple of minutes and be a good place to start. You can eventually work your way up to doing sets three times a day – ideally morning, afternoon and night. Or whenever you have a boring meeting in the office!

Learn New Sex Skills

Did you know that sex is a skill, and it’s not something that we are born naturally good at? We have Hollywood to blame for these romantic notions that somehow sex is always meant to be spontaneous, effortless and natural.

In reality, sex is something that takes time, effort and commitment to become good at. Just like learning a language or taking up a sport. Because most of us have had a limited sex education, we are often left to figure out how to get better at sex by trial and error. This is where seeking out the services of a sex coach can come in handy to fill those gaps. Or maybe you could try listening to a sex-positive podcast like Better in Bed and Shameless Sex, reading a book or attending a workshop on sex.

When we make the effort to pick up new sexual skills and knowledge – such as sexual pleasure techniques, sex toys, breathwork, sexual anatomy, communication, intimacy and relationship skills – it improves our sexual wellness and we become more comfortable and confident with our sexuality.

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Be Aware Of Your STI Status

STIs (sexually transmitted infections) have a profound impact on sexual and reproductive health worldwide. They are incredibly common, yet many people ignore this aspect of their health. It’s a good idea to get yourself tested at least once a year or more depending on your level of sexual activity. This way, you always have a good idea of your STI status, which allows you to be as healthy as you can be, whilst also keeping your partner(s) safe.

Most STIs can be completely cured with modern medication, and the ones that can’t be cured can be effectively managed and minimised to the point where they won’t cause any serious health problems. Prioritising your sexual health and wellness also means making sure that you’re taking adequate precautions to prevent STIs and having honest, upfront conversations with partners, ideally before you engage in any sexual activity.

Talk About Sex

Sex is often an awkward and embarrassing to talk about – most of us have never been shown how to have a conversation on the topic in a meaningful and constructive way. However, a great sex and love life relies on effective communication. The more we talk about sex, the better our experience of sex is likely to be. After all, the more clearly you can express what you like and need to your lover(s), the more they are able to pleasure you – and vice versa!

The more you make sex a regular, ongoing topic of conversation in your relationship, the easier it will be to bring up if and when issues come up in your sex life. If it still feels too intimidating to talk to a partner about sex, try confiding in a close friend first and building your comfort level from there.

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Make Sexual Wellness Your Priority

Cultivating health and wellness has become a big priority, particularly over the last decade or so. And making sexual wellness a priority is even more of a recent occurrence, but it’s a step in the right direction. By making sexual wellness a priority in your life, you’re likely to have better and more sex, and be a lot happier and healthier too. 

Ultimately, if you’re starting out with sexual wellness, begin with asking yourself what sexual wellness means to you. Once you’ve defined that, then you can start to create your own habits and rituals that feel good for you.

Celebrate Your Body

Embrace and celebrate your body by focusing on what it can do rather than how it looks. Appreciate its strength, flexibility, and the pleasure it can bring. By valuing what your body can accomplish and the sensations it provides, you’ll develop a healthier, more loving relationship with yourself. This positive shift in perspective not only boosts your self-esteem but also enhances your sexual confidence and enjoyment, making you feel more empowered and connected in your intimate moments.

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Stay Hydrated And Eat Well

Proper hydration and a nutritious diet are essential for your overall well-being, including your sexual health. Drinking plenty of water keeps your body running smoothly, while a balanced diet rich in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants boosts your energy and stamina. Including foods that promote good blood circulation and hormone balance can improve your sexual wellness, helping you feel more vibrant and ready to enjoy intimate moments.

Editor’s Note: “5 Ways To Get Started On Your Sexual Wellness Journey” was originally published in January 2022 and most recently updated in June 2024 by Catherine Pun. With thanks to Sara for her contribution.