How To Survive A Breakup

Whether you were together for just a few months or spent years together, there’s no way around it: break ups suck!

We’ve all been there – the sleepless nights and anxiety-filled mornings post-break up. Our team is all big fans of the usual cures: a litre or two of chocolate ice cream, endless episodes of Grey’s Anatomy (guilty!) or a wine + whine with the girls. However, while it can be cathartic to indulge in a real-life Bridget Jones moment, most of us have to put on a brave face at work, and get back to real life sooner rather than later. So here is our ultimate break up survival guide, with some tips on how to pick yourself back up and dust yourself off. You got this!

Read more: How To Address Mismatched Sex Drives

The tough stuff

Denial can be a way of coping with painful events, but eventually, we have to face the music. The sooner you sit yourself down, acknowledge that it’s over, and give yourself a pep talk, it will all become a bit more tangible (and therefore a little easier). Make sure you give yourself the space and time to come to terms with what’s happened. If you have property, money, or pets together, try to keep negotiations as gracious as possible. Don’t cause a fight trying to hang on to the mosaic mirror you both bought in Bali – work out your must-haves, and get it sorted quickly. One day, you’ll look back on how you behaved during this time and you’ll be happy to know that a certain someone isn’t dining out on a “crazy ex” story!

Rely on your network

The Beatles were on to something – you’ll get by with a little help from your friends. Surround yourself with people who will let you be whoever you need to be, who won’t judge your process, and who can switch from wholesome advice to criticising your ex’s taste in music with a moment’s notice (only kidding – well, sort of!). Keep your bestie on speed dial for any middle-of-the-night crisis moments, and beg, borrow, or steal a puppy or kitten to hang out with!

Kindness is magic

We’re advocates of being kind to everyone, but don’t forget to be kind to yourself. It can be easy to fall into the trap of hanging on to the “what ifs”. What if you’d been more spontaneous? What if you’d spent more time watching rugby and less time nagging? What if you’d been kinkier in the bedroom? Trust us, all the “what ifs” will drive you crazy if you let them. If it wasn’t right, it wasn’t right for a reason.

We highly recommend doing something that will make you feel good. Have you always wanted to learn French or read War and Peace? Now is the perfect time! Volunteer at an animal shelter, go for a walk, take part in a beach cleanup or bake a cake for your workmates (hint hint). You’ll get a much-needed mood boost just from putting some good karma out into the universe.

You do you, boo

Last but not least, don’t forget the fun part! A break up can be rough on your self-esteem, but you are worthy of being loved, and you are definitely worthy of having great post-break up sex! When you’re ready to get back on the horse (so to speak), round up your friends for a night out (we recommend your local Irish bar), download a dating app, buy some sexy underwear, and remember that the ball is firmly in your court now – so go get ‘em, tiger.