Hong Kong isn’t for Love

Being single in Hong Kong is like being a kid in a candy store, an alcoholic in a bar, a woman in a room full of CK models: temptation is everywhere. There is a stipulation to this statement, though: if you don’t like to drink, party, or dance your options are much more limited. At the age of 22, I was so over using alcohol as my only means of fun and decided that being an “adult” was much more proper. Then, I moved to Hong Kong and at the age of 27, alcohol and going out became my best friends again… I have met and had lengthy conversations with, been on a first date with, or dated guys from all over the world: England, Spain, Australia, New Zealand, America, and Canada. If I had come to Hong Kong dead-set on not going out or no longer finding the fun in partying, my dating life in Hong Kong would have been much less shiny and spontaneous.

As I’m sure is evident in many countries around the world, are the guys you find out drinking the type of quality guy you want to date and eventually marry? While I’ve met and dated a host of guys from around the globe, not one of these meetings or dates has flourished into a legitimate relationship. The longest relationship I had in Hong Kong was on and off for seven months and even he had a genuine fear of the words “boyfriend”, “relationship”, and “meet my parents”.  For months I struggled to “change him” (yes, I know that you can never change a guy, he has to change himself), because I thought he was perfect. I am not the only one of my friends who have had similar dating dilemmas, though; I actually have no girlfriends who have met and dated a long-term boyfriend in Hong Kong. And from these various encounters, I have discovered that Hong Kong guys aren’t in it for love.

Many of my friends warned me when I first arrived in Hong Kong, with my sights set on the cute guy across the way, that love is hard to find in Hong Kong: “Guys aren’t here to find a wife. They’re here for the fun of it, the chance to get away from the serious girls. Hong Kong is transient so settle in for a roller coaster ride, not the long haul.” Maybe I just didn’t want to believe the stereotype at first, but almost a year in and the myths are true; Hong Kong isn’t for love, it’s for lovers. While the dating world in Hong Kong hasn’t been completely futile for me, the prospect of finding love has been slim; maybe this aspect plays a part in my desire to leave Hong Kong and move on to another city. I’m too old and too settled to be gallivanting around the bars for much longer, selling my heart to the highest bidder. I’m also far too picky to fall for just any ol’ bloke.

But until the love of my life sweeps me off my feet, I guess I’ll have to stick to nights out in LKF, dancing at bars on Wyndham Street, and martinis after work for happy hour. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do; though I guess it could be worse than drinking yummy chocolate martinis and flirting with cute British men.